Diary Entry – 17th October ’15
I had a very vivid memory come back to me.
Maybe it’s the time of year, maybe it’s the night drawing in, maybe it’s the overwhelming thanks I feel at the moment.
I remember sitting in my Dads armchair home alone very very poorly. I managed to open the window I was sitting next too, it was so refreshing to feel the cold air surround me. I hadn’t left the house in weeks and I enjoyed that feeling of air. I started to cry. Those all too common feelings washed over me, why me? How can I get better from this? Maybe I’m too deep and too ill to ever be well again so perhaps to time to submit to it…
A very very poorly young girl, in a life of PJs, home alone with two teddies for company in constant pain, multiple diagnoses flooding in, with each one getting worse…
But today, well what a different picture. I all too often take my life for granted. How blessed I am to walk around with no pain. To have so many wonderful friends surrounding me. Having a business which I built all by myself to help other people. Those same diagnosis no longer effect me to those extremes and slowly melted away.
I guess after you have weathered the storm it’s easier to forget and block those horrible dark days out. I try to, but at the same time try not to because when I look back I am overwhelmed by my journey of recovery and how blessed I am to have this life now.
Let’s all keep the faith and keep remembering we can get better. No matter how many labels the doctors stick on you, no matter how many things go wrong or what people say. We can build our lives again to forget those painful days once and for all. But it takes hard work, determination and a lot of love for our future new self.
Lots of love, Rebecca x